Thankfulness Thursday: New Moms Get Nothing Done

I think y'all know that I love reading other blogs and finding posts that relate to my life. So I came across this post: http://www.bigcitymoms.com/blog/archive/2014/01/new-mamas-get-nothing-done-and-other-untruths.html a couple of weeks ago and thought I had to share it with you. Even if you aren't a mom, you can relate to it. I'm not going to copy and paste the article word for word...you can read it yourself, but here are some important truths that I took away from it.

Maybe I've mentioned it before, maybe not, but I work part-time. I work 2.5 days a week in the office and then I also clock time at home. I started this schedule after E was born so that I could be a semi-stay-at-home mom. It really is the perfect schedule. I have 4 day weekends which means we can get away for the weekend and I don't have to take time off and it also means that 2.5 days a week, I get to have adult conversations and use the skills I went to school for. 

I believe that one untruth that people have, is that stay-at-home moms don't have a busy life. I remember have a heated discussion with my husband when we were dating about what SAMS do. I think a lot of people think they eat bonbons, go shopping and play tennis all day. I can assure you that I don't do a single one of those things. Now, I believe that fitness is important...and probably if I had a gym membership with childcare, I would drop E off and workout at least once a week. And with E in school next year (3 half days a week) I know I will get way more errands done than usual...but I also plan on using that time to clean the house, do the laundry, get some running in and work from home. I have no doubt that I will be busy. I will also use that time to go to E's school to volunteer, etc.

So where does this article come in? Author Anne Rust states, "Mamas, I want to tell you the truth. And here it is: You will not get anything done when you are home with a baby. And anyone who told you otherwise is not being very forthcoming (or perhaps they just have a lousy memory). You might get yourself fed. You might get yourself dressed (then again, you might not). You might take a walk (it makes baby happy). You might have a short phone conversation or start a load of laundry, neither of which you will finish. This is your new mom normal."

Now I know that Anne is talking about new babies here, (and trust me, life with a baby is way different than life with an almost 3 year old) but I believe that you can also apply this to life with any kid. Some days you will feel like you've gotten nothing done (that's how I feel most days) but she goes on to say:

"You’re simply responding appropriately and with patience (through fatigue), to smiles, to tears, to hunger cues, and to drowsiness, teaching your baby how to navigate this complex and (to a baby) highly emotional and raw world. You are keeping your baby clean, which on some days involves more costume changes (for both of you) than any non-mother can begin to fathom. You are teaching a tiny, helpless person all about the world—at least the important parts, like how we treat each other and what it means to be connected to a family. You are creating a foundation of love and trust between you and your baby, one that will help you set your parenting compass, inform your future interactions, and provide a basis for the way your child relates to the larger world. You may be breastfeeding your baby—another time consuming task (though once established, it takes less time than bottle feeding) that reaches forward through time to heal and protect your child, and simultaneously reduces your risk of disease. Oh, and you’re becoming a mother. It started the day your baby was conceived, and it continues beyond birth. Your baby is stretching and growing into this new body, and you are too."

You are creating a foundation for another person. You are cherishing them and teaching them how to grow up in this world. You are loving them and teaching them to love others. Even though you can't measure what you are doing, you will eventually see the amazing outcome of your child. It is the hardest job in the world...raising a child...it's one that no one knows the absolute correct way to do. Wouldn't it be amazing if there was someone to tell you how to do it or what you were doing wrong? What about a manual? Nope...it's a constant learning experience. One that never ends.

"There is no greater task than the nothing you did yesterday, the nothing you are doing today, and the nothing you will do tomorrow."

I'll be honest, I forget most of the hard days. I forget E when he was a baby and he would cry non-stop. Maybe I was so sleep deprived that that's why I forgot, but I'm pretty sure that God gives you that gift. God helps you by letting you forget, so that you remember the important things. I will always remember E's first smile, the first time he said "mommy" and these days I remember all of the amazing snuggles. Yes, E has lots of days that are very hard and exhausting. Days that I wish I could fix whatever problem he had, but at the end of the day when he sits on the couch with me and puts his head on my chest...all of those frustrations float away.

"Close your eyes and measure your day not as tasks, but as feelings, as sounds, as colors. Exhaustion is part of it. And it’s true, you will get “nothing” done. But the hard parts will fade. The intense, burning love is what remains, and it is yours to keep forever."

Xo,